A quick summary on why men are trash.
When the term “men are trash” was trending in South Africa, the automatic retaliation was that #womenaretrash and that we were being dramatically unnecessary because all women were focusing on was the experience of terrible relationships. As much as I’d like to say that’s the only valid reason that women took to this statement, and why it upset men, I can’t. The truth is, there are multiple movements both online and offline that continue to remind us about the realities of what it’s like to be a woman in the type of world we live in. A world that doesn’t value women in the least. Yet, so many of the men that were responding to the men are trash statement were only able to bring up the relationship dynamics of why women are unhappy, why is that?
I tweeted my experience about why I feel that men are trash – not once in any of the tweets in this thread did I mention anything about relationships dynamics of having being in an unhappy relationship.
You analyze what the safest and quickest route to avoid dealing with them is. You have to figure out how to block out their comments. https://t.co/3EU8c4Ynk2
— Spartan Lee (@MzLee_) October 9, 2016
What I didn’t realize is that in tweeting my experience, I was unbeknownst to me, tweeting the experience on behalf of a lot of women all over the world, and yet, even though the thread was simple and straight to the point a lot of men missed what the actual issue was, and I would like to assume that is because they chose to read to reply and not read to respond, as is the case with most things that women raise as issues, but there is a level of arrogance that comes with men assuming that women’s only major issues are solely relationship based.
You must be very short sighted if you think the only way men can hurt women is through romantic interactions. Open your eyes.
— Naaah Queen (@PeachSkwebu) October 10, 2016
The major issues that women were listing had to do with structural oppression, and the multiple ways in which patriarchy has forced women into so much of a corner that they don’t feel safe around men at all, that at any given point women always have their guard up and rarely trust their well-being with men. Women were highlighting how systematic oppression affects them on a day to day basis and men chose to retaliate with a hashtag that didn’t address the issues that women had with solutions, but chose to highlight how men fail to acknowledge and own that a large reason why women don’t trust men is because of other men – the same men that they do not call to order when they are harassing, assaulting and hurting women. Admitting that you have been part of the problem is difficult – I get it, but how can you expect women to feel safe and protected around you when you aren’t even trying to affect a positive change?
Women are trying to address the injustices they face, patriarchy, rape culture etc, & you're going out of your way to say you aren't trash.
— WengerBall (@BantersaurusDev) October 11, 2016
For those who missed it, @SadieWiggles has been adding to this thread of hers, with solid justifications on why men are trash for ages. Because of food insecurity, sexual violence, impractical economic solutions based on propriety, and because of patriarchal capitalism based on propriety.
Gonna start a thread of threads on why men are trash, and why it has so little to do with relationships.
— TrashyWiggles (@SadieWiggles) October 10, 2016
And these are just a few things listed. Yet, even with all of this, men blatantly refuse to accept that they are the ones creating a world where women have solid justifications on why they are trash. You know what else I realized? To help build a better world for all of us, the work to dismantle these systems needs to come from both men and women. And ironically, a man @Maddgoat penned it perfectly in the thread below:
Once we interrogate how through our privilege, actions and interactions with our peers we normalize abuse. We can add something meaningful
— Goaty Digital (@MaddGOAT) October 18, 2016
The next time you feel the need to start with “women are trash” or “not all men”, stop and think, if everything was fine and dandy, would women feel the need to protect themselves? When you say not all men, and do nothing when a woman is being violated, but state that women need protectors, who are women needing to protect themselves from?
Don't praise women for being strong. Minimize what we have to endure.
— JASMINE (@NalediSibisi) October 17, 2016
Ironically, a lot of men seem to believe that the women they love and care about need to be their ONLY focus. Why do you need to care about someone in order to acknowledge and take their struggles seriously? Do you lack empathy? To be a woman in a world that doesn’t care about you… how exhausting.