Johannesburg, South Africa

Cyclical pain: When does it end?

Cyclical pain: When does it end?

“Women do fall for the wrong men all the time, but half the time the men disguise themselves as someone worth it”, stated @_Sharpiee

Which was then followed by

“Exactly. Don’t act like some of us specifically go for ain’t shit men. People put up a good act. I’m not God. I can’t see into the future. Sometimes no matter how much you observe or think you’re a good judge of character, someone will always trick you. That’s life.” – @meilechia

I thanked the heavens that finally someone in the world understood & was able to express something that I’d been struggling to express for so long.

I was left speechless. I could not count the number of conversations I’ve had where women had felt heavy regret at giving someone they had felt wasn’t worth it, a chance. I was flabbergasted at the amount of times men talk about how bitter women are and that they need to “get over” things that they’d been through with men in their pasts.

It’s not an easy feat getting hurt countless times and finding it in you to still open up your heart and give someone else a chance, and when it all falls apart, we blame ourselves partly for how things played out.

It’s kind of funny to me how men spend so much time contributing to damaging women, then when they’re good and ready to settle down, expect to only find women who aren’t “bitter” or ‘damaged’. It’s a strange notion; so many spend a large percentage of their teen years and 20’s going through an excessive number of women. It’s no longer about how a woman can add value to his life but how quickly he can get into her pants, and what most don’t realise is that, there are many men around the world doing the same thing. It’s no wonder so many women feel the need to highlight their standards, they’re doing it because they have to keep re-enforcing their own worth, and holding themselves on a pedestal because it seems that so many men aren’t about reassuring women that they are needed & that they’re of immense value to the world as a whole and in the lives of men. Women seem to feel like nothing more than objects that get used and thrown away when men are over playing with them. It’s sad. Our value shouldn’t be solely reliant on how good it feels when your dick is inside us.

I guess that’s why so many women are so defensive when men approach them; the mindset that ‘All he wants is sex’ is scary. We’re no longer certain of which characteristics separate the men from the boys because the lines have been so badly blurred. Even when you want to give a guy a chance you hesitate. How many times does a woman need to go through being hurt before men start to understand the intense damage they’re doing. Not only to women but other males, dogging her only affects the chance that other men have at reaching her, you make it difficult for her to give herself entirely to another man because she fears being hurt by someone who had similar characteristics as yours.

Society seems to blame women for being “bitter” and “angry” but they forget that this is a chain reaction, if you want the world to be filled with ‘good women’ who won’t take out their pain from past relationships, on you, surely you need to take a look at how you and the people in your circles treat women. There are too many men who don’t call out other men for their treatment of women. That scares me so much. If our generation of men behaves like this, how are they going to be when they’re parents, are they going to teach their sons to behave in the same manner that they have been behaving in? When does the cycle stop? Then again, maybe believing that men are capable of behaving is crazy… But I suppose that would be a belief that I’d understand – if only I hadn’t grown up surrounded by amazing men my entire life.

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